“Yesterday I held the door for myself.”

When’s the last time a man actually asked if you needed help assisting with the door as you carried in five bags of groceries, or let you go first off the elevator? Right, it’s been too long. It seems the world of classy gentlemen have now shriveled down to just, well, men.

I can’t help but notice that this behavior is somewhat our fault ladies. Yes, we have been becoming more independent and driven, and we’re basically Wonder Woman in all areas of our life. But let’s take a moment to actually be kind to the men that notice a woman is in the room and want to be chivalrous. We can’t expect our knight in shining armor if we make him fall off the horse he came to pick us up in.

Gender roles have been changing in relationships a lot more often too. Women are asking men out, taking them out on dates and showering them in gifts. We’re beginning to spoil them as much as they do us. Call me old-fashioned but well shit, I am. It’s cool that women are becoming more dominant in their relationships but don’t expect me to kneel on one knee now. I respect the women that do though. I just have a different vision of how my next relationship will be. I picture a not-so-perfect gentleman but good enough to my standards where he loves to surprise me, is romantic, and funny.

Then there’s the challenge of actually teaching men how to be gentlemen because they weren’t taught growing up. I sometimes wonder, do you treat your mother like this? Or would you want someone to not show this level of respect to your daughter or sister? And of course, there’s the ladies that didn’t learn etiquette growing up which is another problem. We shouldn’t expect men to do everything for us and not show a lick of gratitude. Learn to appreciate the time and effort that they put into making us happy. (The ones that are actually fully committed to you and only you) We can’t live the lives of city girls forever.

At the end of the day, men still want to feel appreciated and wanted when it comes down to being involved in our lives. Let them be dominant sometimes and be the man of the house. It’s okay to still have our feminine energy and be a strong woman too, I’m not knocking that. It’s also okay to be a little ghetto but still be a classy, well-respected lady as well. But come on, girl we gotta do better. And fellas, I think my car door is waiting for you to so handsomely open it.

Thank you.

Grad problems, got a job yet?

Finally got that degree.

But now what? Well of course, in my mind I expected, ‘oh yea, I’ll have my dream career job right at graduation welcoming me with open arms and a desk’. Just like I imagined being married at 25 and having a condo and being married by 30. But hey, life just doesn’t work like that now does it?

Since April, I’ve been attempting to perfect my résumé, I’ve edited my cover letter about 20 times, had three interviews and received 13 rejection emails.

Am I starting to feel discouraged and that my life is going no where – hell yes. But it’s not, and I’m here to tell you that instead of waiting for jobs to hire me I’m going to create my own work for myself.

As a writer who is experienced in social media, digital media, and editing, I’d say the opportunities I have are endless. Making myself a brand and trying to sell my elevator pitch comes with the territory as well. The journey hasn’t been easy though, I’ll tell you that.

So here’s a little advice to my fellow graduates if you choose to follow your heart and wait for that dream job after college:

1. Keep applying yourself and keep applying for jobs because you never know who is willing to hire you with or without the experience and skillset for the position. 2. Perfect your online resume and job search profiles especially if you are using sites like ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn, or Indeed. Make sure it showcases your best skills and talents you have to offer and your most recent work. 3. It’s ok to cry. You won’t get every job that you interview for and that’s ok. That just means something bigger and better is coming for you so scream in your pillow, eat a big bowl of ice cream and wait gracefully.

I will say one of the struggles of trying to find a job in your field is making sure you stand out from other applicants. Be proud of your work and brag on yourself a little. They are interviewing you to find out why they need you, so tell them and then show them.

Hey, grads I just want you to know I love you and you’re doing great you bad bxtch.